But what can you do? [Archives:2006/949/Community]

Amenah bint Natera
I have heard this statement, which is not really intended as a question, a million times over the past decade from well meaning, but at times defeated, Yemenis who in the statement convey all the frustration inherent in their daily life and their social situation.

But what can you do? Well let's break down the statement.

But is the part that starts telling you no, even before you get your answer completely enunciated.

What is the gritty part of the argument the subject, the issue, the solution, the resolution, the action, a reaction is demanded.

Can is the modifier it is not saying “May”; which leads one to believe that the person is asking permission. “Can” in this case is saying that it should, could, must; that “it” needs to be done.

You- here is a really tricky word in this statement. Is the person asking you “the other”; or is that person- the speaker asking themselves rhetorically?

Do- that word of action. An act that means someone will be responsible for having done “it”.

Now that we have broken up the statement to define in a way its components, what does the statement mean, what does it convey, and what does it expect which I have learned are three of the things implied when such a statement is made from a Yemeni.

At one level it can mean the person is actually feeling so frustrated and inept (though not by choice necessarily, but by circumstance), that it almost sounds like a plea to the other because they can't accomplish what they consider an act of greater magnitude.

At another level it can mean the person knows the issue at hand but also realizes, at times, the futility of the exercise in finding a solution that will not be implemented. So the appeal is to both self and the other to recognize that “Resistance is Futile” (as was put in a TV show in the USA).

Yet at the level that I sometimes rank the comment, though not always, is in that accountability zone You know, “you are accountable for your own actions”, “he should answer for what he has done”; “they need to step up to the plate and answer for their actions”, etc. But at some point in my conversations with Yemeni, accountability is always on “the other”. No one actually tells me that if they as Yemeni decided to do XY or Z they would get ABC to do so would mean that should things not go as planned then they would have to account for their actions though none seems to think of accounting in times of victory; because everyone automatically knows you did it and you want them to know.

But let's talk about the context of the comment. When is it used? Is it all the time? Not really. The times it is most poignant is in those heart wrenching conversations when the lack of action results in the failure to provide for the safety of millions; failure to accept that certain aspects of our lives need to change because the world is a 100 years ahead of us; failure to believe that there are steps to be taken and we believe we can just sit and wait for Allah to send down the solution, forgetting Allah has said in the Qur'an that He will only change our condition if we change the condition in ourselves first.

So what can you do?

– First, Stop thinking there is nothing you can do. That there is just no way that we can do anything, because that is the easiest excuse ever invented by Man: “Sit, do nothing, and then blame the world.”

– Second, Pray Allah will help you find the solution. Allah has given you a brain, use it! We were and have been taught by the pen, so put your “money-where-your-mouth-is” and actually dare to ask and look for solutions.

– Third, Make a Plan. If it is just you involved; ask yourself where you want to be in 5 years and please, be realistic if the answer is Rich and Famous, you are totally off track. If you say, “I want to be in peace, have enough food for myself and debt-free”; you are moving in the right direction.

If you are one of a pair- your are about to get married, you're thinking about getting married; or you have to get married then make a plan marriage is a very important step in your life. Don't for one second think it is a piece of cake, that all your worries will go away; and that there will be that “other” who will take care of it You would set yourself up for failure even before starting.

If you are a student, I suggest you be an honest student and get the best marks you can, not only in grading but in understanding and applying what you learn, striving for excellence I never say perfection; because perfection is in Allah's Realm all we can aspire to, is excellence.

If you are a father, a mother, a wife, a husband; then be the best you can be because you will be held accountable for it both, here in this world and in the Here After In this world because your children, your spouses, your family, even society: they will all hold you accountable for every decision you made or not and the consequences of it. In the Here After because that is a promise from Allah; He will Judge you, period. Question is are you ready for it?

– Fourth: Consultation with those who know and understand. Let me explain this part, though; because we have a tendency to ask the blind man if he can see what color the sky is.

I mean that you are asking an intelligent question to an intelligent person who will pause, think about it, pause again and tell you that he will get back to you with an answer. If you receive a quick fire answer chances are that person is talking off the top of their head and could actually lead you astray unintentionally. Nor do I suggest you spew out things off the top of your head either when someone asks you because you will be held accountable for every single word you pronounce and every single action that comes of it daunting isn't it?

When asking; think clearly what it is you want; say what you mean and mean what you say. And when you get an answer, an opinion, what have you; think over carefully what that means, and its implications Here is an interesting example

I live in NY; and there are many things that happen here that make you pause and you HAVE to ask people if this can or not be done but if you are not focused and have good intentions to do the best, you can do some rather crazy or not so crazy things

A man asked a Sheikh if as a Muslim he could sell pork and beer at a store

Without giving you the answer from the Sheikh let us go through this exercise:

1. You are told as a Muslim; as a human being; that to save one life you save all of humanity and to kill one person is to kill all of humanity.

2. Then taking into consideration that as a Muslim living in a country whose Rule of Law says that if you know a crime is about to be committed, and/or you knowingly participate in the crime, or as it is classically put -are part of “aiding and abetting”; you are as guilty as the person who actually committed the crime.

Now, imagine this scenario: a person buys an intoxicant like beer and you sell it to them. They leave the store, drink the beer, get drunk, get behind the wheel of a car, are not in their right senses (that happens when you are intoxicated) and they don't see the person who is crossing the street in front of the car and they hit that person and kill them or at the very least injure them.

Now tell me who is/are guilty taking into consideration what Allah has said about injuring another person without justification, i.e., in self defense?

Now depending on what you think the answer should/would be, you will proceed and implement this in your life are you ready for the questions Allah will put forth to you on this? Did you think about the consequences of the actions all of this has on you, your family, the other person's families, etc.?

– Fifth, pray again for guidance and make a decision. That means hoping you have made the right decision; praying for the outcome that best suits the situation and implementing it. If you have done all the previous steps then having come to terms with your decision will mean once implemented you have complete faith in God and you move on to the next batch of issues in your life.

But if you think the previous steps are not necessary, or not needed, or irrelevant; or just plain silly I would like to hear your answers when you are asked what, why, how, when and where you did what you did and what you DID NOT DO that is also written down you know, especially if it creates a consequence that impacts other people.

I have suggested what you can do; delineating steps to help resolve certain things in your life that you have more control over than others and believe me Allah has given you control over a lot of things in your life; you just have to acknowledge it and account for them Ignorance is not Bliss my friend. And the “But what can you do”; will only go but so far

But you will ask, in practical real life terms; those issues we grapple with everyday; how can we even attempt such a simplistic format? Actually, everything takes on this simplistic format from tying your shoe to deciding the next policies that will have most impact on generating revenue in your domestic company planning on going global.

Why? Simple it's called accountability

– Making yourself accountable for all you do; making others accountable for what they do and for the things you or they don't do as well

– It is about understanding that you are accountable for the welfare of your child feeding, clothing, loving, teaching, rearing, guiding

– You are accountable at your place of employment being on time, doing your best, producing the quality work that is expected; doing what is right

– Your are accountable for being human; God gave you this life for a reason not to squander it, not to hurt it, not to live in abject misery of mind and soul which is very different from abject misery of food and clothing

So maybe the question should be: “Who is accountable and what do I do about it?”
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