A Canadian in Yemen: Lessons learned on the Red Sea [Archives:2002/14/Culture]
April 1 2002
Thomas Froese
And where was I? The boy who would rise at dawn to play the game at the local ice arena? The guy who brought a bunch of hockey sticks here? My wife and I were with friends on the Red Sea.
My lesson was that women on the beach never take off their baltos in public, beach or not. I found this a little strange especially when the gals tried to keep their soggy head-gear straight.
Its clear that in this part of the world whats acceptable to the group is more important than any individual. And maintaining honour is an extremely important. Thus, to protect the honour of families, women wear baltos.
A friend of mine put it this way, I prefer women cover, because if they didnt, wed always be gazing at their loveliness. When theyre covered, we dont even notice them. True. Especially since baltos here are black as night.
Fashion statements
Im also told that some gals like to cover, because they know theyd never win any beauty pageants, and that baltas are, in fact, a fashion statement. Young university women prefer slim cuts with platform shoes. A sleek balto with veil, Im told, can sell for as much as $100 US, no small change here.
Theres no doubt this garment has caused some misunderstanding in the West. Some Westerners see it as a flashpoint for everything they think is wrong in a culture that is strange to them.
They dont understand that for centuries its been accepted in Islam that the sexes need to exist in their own universes. They dont understand that in addition to preserving modesty, the balto is a symbol of womens private sanctuary in the home, where their role is to keep families stable.
What is equality?
Some would argue that this is neither fair nor equal. But are a rose and jasmine equal? Or do they simply each have their own unique shape and scent. Thats the traditional Muslim view. And I am afraid that Westerners who get a fixation on the veil are distracted from other ways they can help women in places such as here in Yemen.
With World Womens Day just passed, gender challenges have been highlighted again. Women have spoken out again in public that there are issues this culture needs to think of. When women marry too young, for example, and when they are expected to produce a large number of children, they find themselves in unhealthy situations.
My wife, an obstetrician working to reduce the number of moms who die during childcare here in Yemen, can tell you about that. A woman here has a one-in-nine lifetime risk of dying due to childbirth complications, among the highest rates in the world. Thats something to think about as Yemeni seek to improve their quality of life.
Education is also a need for women here. Consider the woman who, in response to instructions for taking her medicine, said, Dont tell me, tell my husband. Im just a cow. A cow? Without the most basic of learning opportunities, women here are often left in prisons of ignorance. I have been saddened to see so many frail woman and young children standing at my car window asking for a handout.
In the West, we cant imagine such poverty. So Yemen has its challenges. But with some help, change is possible in the long-term. And what is just is as interesting from my perspective is that when it comes to gender issues, the West has plenty of its own work to do.
Teenage girls in the West, for example, may have plenty of liberty to dress the way they wish. But theyre also caught in a rather vicious culture war. Thats because the television is often full of end-to-end talk about sex: pre-marital, extra-marital and other barely imaginable, all targeted to titillate youngsters.
Schools have plenty of discussion on sex education, to try to give young people the truth about such issues. But its often to little avail. A recent global survey shows 75 per cent of teens say HIV and sexual diseases are their biggest fears in life. And the West, sadly, has a tidal wave of marital breakdown. Young people carry the pain, wondering how this could happen in a place that knows so much of about love.
Talk about strange
So, as a Canadian I find swimming at the beach with a body drape is rather strange. But so is taking off ones clothes in view of the world, without even blushing. This is what Hollywood is doing, now that technology sends its pictures around the planet.
Its unfortunate that many Muslims think all Westerners have the same immoral lives. They dont. The Canadian news magazine Macleans put it well recently, that in the last 25 years Our minds and bodies are better, but our souls, perhaps, are not. So, at least some Westerners do realize their culture is hurting them.
With recent global tensions following 9-11, some Westerners see Islam is some kind of enemy. I, frankly, dont see it. I see a culture that is trying to find its way through changes in our world, through, for one, the gender wars. I see a place that is looking for eternity and Eden, just like, somewhere deep down, the West is. The truth is any culture has the potential for both madness and life to be written on its soul.
To celebrate who they are, people groups have always played their own music. Canadians know a deep love of hockey and we couldnt imagine an identity without it. But cultures also live within closed circles. We dont see how this binds us, and were often not able to see our own need.
Ultimately, that need is for divine mending in our broken places. Some would argue that this is actually at the heart of our current East-West conflict. And it seems to me that both cultures need that kind of strong medicine to have peace both on the world stage as well as in our private lives.
Thomas Froese,
([email protected]),
is an editor with the Yemen Times.
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