Can one man handle two women?Polygamy [Archives:2005/885/Culture]
BY HAKIM ALMASMARI
YEMEN TIMES STAFF
[email protected]
Since ancient times, people have been indulging in polygamy. It's more commonly known as “Multi-wives marriage”. As early as the 2nd century, Arabs and Jews had hundreds of wives. Some of God's prophets practiced polygamy including Dawood, Yacoub, Soloman, and Mohammed (Peace be upon them all). However, since the beginning of time, no society has ever put restrictions for multiple marriages, until Islam put its borders to the maximum of four wives. Even during the prophet hood of Jesus and Moses (Peace be upon them), polygamy was widely practiced by the Jews and neither restrictions nor conditions were set to limit ones greed. What many people don't understand is why Islam has made polygamy lawful? Not many know that polygamy was widely practiced among many Christians around the world as recently as the 17th century, and was accepted completely by the Christian Church. Christians of Latter Day Saint even practiced polygamy in the heart of the United States as late as the 1900's!
Unfortunately, early Christians had an awkward mentality towards women, as they believed that women were “full of sin” and in no way equal to man, while Islam made women equal with men in almost every aspect of life. In Islam a women is pictured as a precious jewel, which cannot be touched only by the one whom is chosen to be her husband. On the other hand, in many western countries, when problems erupt between married couples, the husband simply decides to cheat on his wife with either a friend or even a prostitute, indulging in unlawful actions, while women stay sincere to their husbands unknowing what is happening behind the scenes.
Wars continuously cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of men, due to the high number of causalities. In these situations, women are left without husbands or financial support for their families, forcing them to resort to prostitution or prohibited relationships with other men, resulting in children who do not know their father, while having the women bear the outcome in all situations. When women are dealt like sexual instruments, which are only valuable until sexual passion is taken, what royalty and respect could women have. The main priority in marriage is having a relationship filled with love, respect, and happiness, while creating a society where the needs of both man and woman are well taken care of. Children will be raised between the hands of their parents and enjoy a life of love and dignity, rather then spend most of their childhood in an orphanage or a foster home.
The present western society allows unlimited free sex between adults, causing the horrifying problem of fatherless children being raised by unmarried teenage women. This is not what love is about. Islam advises people to marry and furthermore develop a genuine family structure. It also understands the requirements and necessities of a society and in certain issues allows polygamy when it could be a solution to the many problems, which nowadays seem inescapable. Last year in a survey held between married couples in the United States, it revealed that thirty-five percent of married couples admitted cheating on their partner on numerous occasions. It appears that American men are getting their sexual desire in some way or another, while on the other hand getting away with not having to bear with the outcome of these short relationships, like pregnancy and the numerous diseases that could follow. For this, Islam allows multiple marriages, limiting the number to four wives, but surely does not require or recommend polygamy. I think the American law protects men, allowing them to play around with other women. Even in situations when women have abortion, they are still the ones who suffer from the different side effects, diseases, and excessive pain, while men continue to enjoy life free of worries. Multiple marriage is really opposed by the majority of men in the United States since it would force them to bare responsibilities of sex with other women as well as protect and support the women who fall prey in their sexual hunt.
Islam has even given women special rights concerning polygamy marriage, as they could include to the marriage contact their disapproval of having the husband do such an action.
In conclusion, Islam does not encourage polygamy, but rather keeps it as a solution for the many problems we face in everyday life, thus giving permission but in the same time discouraging it. “You will never be able to deal justly with wives how much you desire to do so. But if you have more than one wife do not turn altogether away from one, leaving her in suspense” Quran 4: 129.
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