Engagement seldom lasts except between educated people [Archives:2008/1191/Community]

September 18 2008

By: Mofeed Al-Jaad
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I've enjoyed reading Maged Al-Kholidy's series entitled, “To marry educated or uneducated women?” because it addresses a tangible and widespread issue within our society.

I want to shed light on the idea of suitable marriage between educated people, which Al-Kholidy discussed in the Aug. 14 issue No. 1181, “To marry educated or uneducated women? Part 5,” but I'd like to discuss this issue during the engagement period.

Many young men these days face financial obstacles preventing them from marrying. For this reason, they first desire to build their future and then think about marriage later.

For example, most young men today have a specific woman in mind to marry, but they can't handle or take on domestic responsibilities yet because they're either still college students or new graduates without jobs.

Thus, these youths desire to get engaged to the woman whom they've chosen as a proper and perfect wife and then marry her later after gaining employment and achieving some of their dreams.

Here, the crucial role of educated women is obvious because they understand that today's young men need time to get a job and realize some of their simple dreams, so such women are prepared to postpone marriage following their engagement because they believe that they must share their love's forbearance of life's ups and down.

To the contrary, uneducated women aren't ready to wait a long time after engagement because they only think about the pleasure and sweetness of marriage; thus, they prefer a life partner who's ready to marry as soon as possible. However, in doing so, they ignore the heavy burdens of domestic responsibilities they must bear and the difficult circumstances today's young people face.

To illustrate this point, a friend of mine dearly loved one of his classmates, so following their graduation, he told her frankly, “Darling, I'm ready to get engaged to you this week, but our marriage must be postponed for at least two years.”

After thinking awhile, she said, “Because I'm your life partner, I should share in all of your problems, so I'm prepared to wait for you – even more than 10 years.” My friend eventually got a good job and married his faithful sweetheart.

Thus, relationships seldom weather the engagement period except when they're between two educated people. To clarify, relationships during the engagement are impossible between uneducated young men and educated women.

For example, an uneducated man once became engaged to an educated young woman. They loved each other and communicated by phone. One day, the woman said to her love, “I want to get a job and teach after marriage.” Unfortunately, the man refused, which led to the breaking off of their engagement.

To summarize, I think marriage is more suitable between educated couples than uneducated ones because educated individuals are more aware of life's ups and downs and the domestic responsibilities of marital life. Their education also helps them look at life in the proper way.