From the outside, looking in [Archives:2006/942/Community]
Amenah bint Natera
[email protected]
In the past few years my interest in Yemeni society has gone from a fascinating interest to an intense fascination and a move to action. You will ask what action would you take and in what direction? And directed to whom?
Well, for that I have to give you some background. Presently I live in NY where I am surrounded by Yemeni, in their Deli's (24 hour grocery stores), in the Masajid and in my place of work – one of the biggest NYC Public Hospitals and besides the oldest one in America. Yemen has from the beginning been a place of mystery yet of almost “home calling” to my soul. And for years I have endeavored to read on different aspects of the society. Its food, its music, its poetry and its ways; all of these are so similar to my own maternal culture.
As I have gotten to know Yemenis through conversations, their questions and their answers to my questions, the books I read, the music I hear and the events I see unfold within the country; my fascination has, to say the least, intensified. When things happen there, I feel as though my adopted “homeland” is calling and tugging at my heart strings. And recently I have made conscious efforts to help Yemen in any way that I can, be it through my own line of work in Healthcare or through Academic circles with my professors and fellow students and even at the Masajid where I put all of my life experiences to work to bring about information that is of use to all Yemeni here and back home. And I volunteer where I can, putting as much into the effort as I can way of bringing my little bit of excellence to what Yemen means.
Recently the flurry of activity is increasing in Yemen; elections, social and economic changes and hopes these bring about, as well as opinions on a variety of subjects that brings out that inquiring mind in Yemen. Not all is rosy however, and I need not bring this to the table; you are more aware than I what goes on within Yemen happen to see from the outside for now.
Where I want to lend my voice and my opinion is in education relating to women's issues. Why not, I happen to be a woman ut like most things in life one has to sometimes go around the block a few times before one can go straight in through the front door. So I start here, where this voice of Yemen starts -the Yemen Times.
A woman's role as I see it is varied and is now in this new millennium changing rapidly because of the advances in technology, the expectations of societies world-wide on us and closer to home the expectations and needs of our children and husbands. And it is because of these needs and expectations that I feel Yemeni women need to jump-start there lives to propel them further into the cutting edge, shall we say, of society. We need to be informed for our children's sake. We should be, and usually are, the front line answerers to our kids questions in life e have them most of the time heir attention is riveted on us and ours on them o it behooves us to be informed in many ways to better bring up our children for their own future
Imagine; in the last twenty years we have had an explosion of usage in television, VCRs, DVDs, mobile phones, internet and the latest SMS, iPods and satellite radios nly God knows what else will come along the next twenty years ouldn't our children be better served if we knew not only how to use these devices but understand -more importantly, how these things impact our lives for better and for worse?
For better e can communicate rapidly; with ease and with much more assurance f for example, our spouse, son or daughter, are away from the house, work or school we will always find them on their mobiles o longer do we have to wait with a tinge of anxiety until they return. We can see the latest news from around the world; bringing us closer to fellow Muslims or to other on this planet and we can see how they live, interact and share their ideas on life. We can form our own opinions and understanding of this vast yet ever shrinking world we live in e will know what our children see, and we may feel what they feel when they see those images transmitted from high above our heads.
For worse e all too quickly get things thrown in our faces; sometimes faster than we can assimilate and digest properly. No sooner are we getting comfortable with an idea, when a new one smacks us on TV, in the newspapers or in that call that comes in the middle of the night from a far off land e have so many family now spread across the world that its unavoidable. And we may not always take to new things well, or indeed, not at all. We may reject off hand something new because we may not understand where it is coming from and why is it arriving so quickly or for that matter, what to do with the thing in the first place.
So with this in mind we need to remember that education for women is necessary, as they are the teachers of our children from before birth; it is a known fact that babies know their mother's voices way before they are actually born; that they feel what their mothers feel from the very womb. It is imperative knowing this, to educate women to have healthy bodies for healthy babies; making a conscious choices to seek healthcare help for themselves and for their children's sake. And once they have delivered their children that they, as mothers, continue to understand that every word, every action or non-action on their part affects their children.
How so? Well imagine you have a daughter and as she grows you don't guard your mouth in front of her and she hears things that she at her tender age can't possibly understand but will imitate her mother and the adults around her (that is how children learn -through imitation). She will repeat in almost everyway what her mother did or said- whether she understands it or not when she is of similar age. Now imagine this young girl getting ready for marriage; not knowing what she is doing or why- it spells disaster for the future husband and the family she marries into because they are unaware of who she really is lind imitation does not make a person whole; understanding why and what you do does.
Let's take the example in the other direction he woman has a boy and he grows up hearing what his mother says and does as maybe, opposed to what his father says and does nowing that he is learning through imitation, the lack of explanation will create a void not easy to discern or remedy. So the boy grows up to be a man and he continues to imitate what he has learned at home and in the outside world, and when he marries he will probably insist that his wife and children say and do in exact imitation what he learned at his mother and father's side. There is nothing wrong in this; except where he does not actually know why he is doing or asking others to do these things.
What you see happening is a mountain created out of a mole hill. What started out as one woman getting married and having a child turns into a society that if it remains with out certain explanations and limitations can turn into a society with issues nd you will probably say, no way ou're exaggerating ut am I?
When was the last time you asked your self how could someone have said or done what they had just said and done? When was the last time you said something and later on asked your self what ever possessed you to say or do that? When was the last time you demanded an apology from someone who did or said something you considered un-called for? And when was the last time you heard, watched on TV or read something that was said or done that made absolutely no sense to you?
It is because we have asked ourselves these questions that it becomes imperative for us to really take a look at our thoughts, our feelings and what we know to assess if we are where we need to be. There will be a ton of things we will never know, granted. But there are things that we should know that we have to seriously think about.
Those are the things that pertain to our goals in life; what we want for our children (be they girls or boys). What we want for our spouses; many women don't consider this when they enter a marriage -their aspirations for their husbands may not even be thought as either necessary or needed. Actually it is both; if your husband knows and understands what you would like him to be in the future as a person, as a father, as the head of the family or the tribe and as your life-mate, he has a better chance of getting there and of seeing what others want for his happiness if he knows you support him not only as a husband but as a fellow human being. Not to mention, it serves as an example to your children of what constitutes a good working relationship between husband and wife and fellow family members.
Yemeni society is growing exponentially, making it hard to catch up along certain lines; however, this does not preclude us setting goals for ourselves and ensuring the future of our children and their children. Education is a must- in it is included the education that entails understanding of values, principles and ideas, as is careful analysis of the directions our lives can take. We will never know for sure where we will end up, Allah knows best, in the meantime, however, we need to make our steps solid and worthy of our heritage. There are a lot more Yemeni in this world and the world is watching from the outside in
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