Male and female, how to deal? [Archives:2009/1225/Community]

January 15 2009

By: Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy
Allah Almighty has created humans in two different genders that basically complete each other so that life goes on. The relationship between them, however, is not limited to only the area of marriage and family; they are brought together in many other aspects of life as well. What surprises me is the thinking style of some women who look at dealing with men as something against morals and against social traditions.

Of course, modern life is different from life in the past in terms of the needs of each gender for the other. In spite of this, men and women used to do many things together in the past. For instance, during the time of our Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon Him, women dealt with men in many fields such as Jihad, trading, etc. Dealing with each other was not done in order to establish immoral relations; rather, these relationships were dominated by religious principles and social morals which in turn determined the boundaries of their relations. When such boundaries are destroyed by one or both genders, the fault would be from the people involved themselves, and not because men and women were dealing together in the first place.

To illustrate the point, let us refer to an example of a woman who is dealing with men in study, work, and other social fields. She is of good morals, respecting the religious principles and the social customs. Of course, among the men she is dealing with, there are some men who think of establishing inappropriate relationships with her since she is frequently around them. In time, however, her personality shakes those bad people, forcing them to deal with her in the way she likes. The same example can be taken in the case of a man who has to deal with women.

What surprises me most is the women who claim that they do not like to deal with men at all. Of course it is possible for women to live without dealing with men. This happens with some conservative families who prefer women to stay at home, having all their needs from outside taken care of by their male family members. If a woman is satisfied with this, and really follows it, she has the right to say: “I do not want to deal with men