Marriage customs in Ba’dan district [Archives:2006/922/Culture]

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February 20 2006

By: Ahmed Al-Shariqi
Ba'dan district in Ibb province lies six kilometers east of Ibb with Ba'dan Mountain in between. It is bounded by Al-Sabra district in the south, Al-Sha'ir in the east and Al-Makhadir in the north.

Marriage is a common social convention essentially similar in all areas, yet there are slight differences from one area to another.

Of course, engagement is the first stage of marriage in which a man goes with his mother or one of his sisters to ask for a woman's hand from her parents. A small party is held on the engagement day involving many people including the fiance's friends.

On the engagement day, a dowry is set in which the bride's father sets forth his terms and conditions to be approved upon both parties' consent. The agreement then is drafted and documented on paper by a local cleric or preacher.

In the past, a mother chose her son's life partner and she was responsible for that choice. The man did not to see his bride until the wedding day and the situation stood thus.

Henna night

Henna is done the night before the wedding day. On this night, villagers go out to a yard in the village center, called a gareen, where they make fires, beat drums, perform popular dances and chant religious poetry. The gathering includes the man's friends, guests and villagers who come to congratulate him and wish him the best life.

They then head to the bridegroom's house, chanting popular festive poetry until they arrive. At the gate, they continue performing dances and accompany the bridegroom to the sitting room.

A man spreads henna paste on the bridegroom's fingers and decorates the center of his palm with a geometric shape. Afterward, some attendants put henna on their hands, following the bridegroom's example. The party continues into the night and wedding necessities are prepared.

Villager cooperation is seen clearly on such social occasions. For example, villagers are divided into groups: one to prepare food, another to buy qat, another to host guests in their homes from outside the village, etc. The bridegroom spends the henna night with his friends until dawn. It is a memorable night in that it vibrates with songs, verses and merriment.

The wedding day

The wedding day is the main celebration day when the bride is taken to her bridegroom. From the day's onset, drums are beaten and songs are sung.

The bridegroom showers and wears a nice new traditional dress with a decorated sword on his shoulder.

Villagers of all ages gather in the yard where drums are beaten. Attendants perform popular dances, like bara and hawshaliah, accompanied by songs and chants. Villagers also receive outsiders in this yard and then take them to the bridegroom's house.

Some villagers take guests on a short tour to a nearby mountain or valley and show their area's characteristics until noon.

At noon, a group including the bridegroom's relatives, guests and villagers, all of them called shawah, go to the bride's house and later return with the bride.

However, those who stay at the bridegroom's house go to pray in the local mosque. Afterward, they go to the bride's house for lunch, which includes many dishes prepared by several households.

They then go to the village's public sitting room where they drink tea and chew qat between afternoon and dusk prayers. People also sing and recite poetry during this session.

When night falls, all go to the mosque to pray and then return to the village yard where dances are performed accompanied by drum and pipe. They continue until the bride is brought by the other group. They stand in a line to receive the bride with anthems and attend the signing of the marriage contract, wherein the bride's father and the bridegroom formally consent to the marriage in the presence of a cleric and witnesses.

Consummation night

On consummation night, the bridegroom lawfully consummates the marriage after having paid an agreed amount of money to the bride herself. This is the first night of married life. When the bridegroom comes out of the room, his brothers and friends receive him in the sitting room where they perform dances, eat sweets and a meal.

The eighth day

The eighth day after the wedding, the bride's father and his family comes to the bridegroom's house to see how things are with the new couple. The bridegroom receives and welcomes the family. They then take a tour and practice shooting rifles, returning to perform the noon prayer. Afterward, they go to the bridegroom's house for lunch and tea in the garden.

Finally, they have a qat session in the sitting room. The bridegroom's father heartily welcomes them and gives them qat and water. They spend the session chatting about a variety of issues until dusk when it is time for guests to leave.
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