My own rainbow [Archives:2008/1117/Community]

December 3 2008

By: Ammar Al-Hawi
Teaching Assistant, Taiz University
[email protected]

I had been living hopelessly and aimlessly in the gloomy imprisonment of loneliness and pain, ever-companioned by the ugly giants of meaninglessness and nothingness and ever-guided by the noisy ghosts of boredom and frustration. Rarely had happiness called on the lifeless castle of my heart.

The fearful and awful thought of being completely lost nowhere already had settled in the dark cave of my mind. The damp and hasty shadows of misery and disappointment oft had chased and allured my endless attempts to escape sadness' ruthless hegemony and arrogance.

Nothing charming or beautiful had my pale and careless eyes seen or enjoyed. True love's passionate and delicate music no longer echoed in my dim and deaf ears. The attractive and delightful smile of comfort and satisfaction had completely deserted my ever-locked and time-ravished lips.

Nevertheless, I had never tasted life's pleasant sweetness, nor had I a quenching drink from sensitivity's fresh and pure fountain. My life's pageless and clumsy book neither had recorded any words of joy nor not known any passages of sorrow.

Thus, I simply had been existing rather than living, articulating rather than saying, seeing rather than observing, hearing rather than listening, minding rather than thinking, performing rather than enjoying, moving rather than walking, knowing rather than recognizing and even simply feeling rather than loving.

Consequently, I had decided to hitch my wagon of worry to someplace unknown, to wipe away my tears of grief, leave my depressed sighs behind, put off my garments of hesitation and pack up my solid and silent scraps of memory into the far wasteland of inhumanity.

However, I abandoned this decision – to vanish somewhere unreached and pass by unnoticed – with your sudden rainbow-like appearance on my life's horizon and your long anticipated angel-like arrival at my world's gate. So speechless with wonder was I as you made your first steps into my kingdom. “How marvelous and majestic!” I responded to your entrance.

Since then, I've been feeling like I'm still alive, as if I've been born again! In fact, you came to free me from the painful shackles of loneliness and hopelessness with the great strength of your love and care.

You came to offer me true companionship and sincere guidance from your fruitful garden of kindness and maturity, to breathe into me a new sense of happiness and joy from the living spirit of your lightness and sensitivity, to pour some type of self-confidence and wisdom into my mind from your profound ocean of truthfulness and sensibility, to elicit a unique smile of innocence and vitality with your colorful touches of liveliness and eternity, to enliven my ears with your soft whispers of faithfulness and purity, to inspire addiction and wonder in my eyes with your angelic face of loveliness and beauty, to fill the empty pages of my life's unfinished book with your graceful words and your noble deeds, and, above all, to bring about upheaval and revival in my entire life with your “superhuman” character.

At last, you realized how much I really missed – and am missing you now. You would've traversed the distance and transcended all borders to cure and relieve my ceaseless pain at being away from you. So, would you care to join your soul with mine and together, one day, make all of our dreams come true?!