The mercy orphanage, a family system life and social atmosphere [Archives:2007/1034/Reportage]
March 19 2007
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Dar Al-Rahma, translated as Mercy House, Orphanage was established in 2001 for female orphans. It is the first project to gather female orphans under one roof, regardless of the negative comments by social and cultural critics.
The orphanage aims to raise girls and prepare them for life within Yemeni society. Initially, the orphanage's manager was criticized for allegedly attempting to break Yemeni culture and solidarity by raising orphaned girls away from the influence of their relatives, as many citizens believe it's shameful and wrong to do so.
Dar Al-Rahma director Rougah Al-Hajeri wonders how such people can bear the sight of girls begging or sleeping on the rough streets or, in some cases, forced into criminal activities, all in the name of protecting Yemeni culture and solidarity. “Yet, when we think to build a house for these homeless girls and protect them from the dangers of living on the streets, people criticize us.”
Although the facility originally was only for female orphans, its administration occasionally took in boys who came with their sisters. However, it had to refuse admitting boys, instead sending them to their relatives because financial constraints forced them to do so. For example, Dar Al-Rahma once received four sisters accompanied by their two brothers, one of whom suffered from epilepsy.
“We accepted the sisters and asked their relatives to take the boys, but the sisters couldn't imagine being separated from their brothers, especially the sick one. They cried all the time and refused to eat,” Al-Hajeri recounts.
“A month later, the brothers came to visit their sisters. They were thin and had burns due to torture and bad treatment by their relatives. When we saw them, the administration decided to open a branch for males, regardless of the orphanage's meager income or financial difficulties we would face as a result,” she concluded.
Dar Al-Rahma since has begun accepting both brothers and sisters.
To date, the facility cares for 242 orphans who live at the orphanage, as well as others who live under its supervision and the support of their relatives in Dar Salem district.
Goals
The main purpose for establishing Dar Al-Rahma was to ensure a peaceful and nurturing environment for female orphans while supporting their efforts to interact positively with Yemeni society. The orphanage has a list of conditions that must be met before an orphan will be accepted. For instance, a child must have a relative or sponsor who will follow up his or her case. “We want to rehabilitate orphans who are willing to do so,” Al-Hajeri notes.
Homeless or street children rarely join the orphanage due to their greater need for specialized care, as well as the time and effort involved. “Often, they have acquired bad habits from the streets, so they first must improve their behavior at special centers. Only then will Dar Al-Rahma consider accepting them. The orphanage has a clear mandate and we work hard to achieve it,” Al-Hajeri explains.
Education is the best gift for orphans
Orphans at the facility study in private schools. “Education is the best gift we can give the orphans for their future,” Al-Hajeri says. Thus, the administration seeks sponsors to assist students in enrolling at private schools.
Dar Al-Rahma is supported financially through both official and private donations. The Ministry of Social Affairs allocates approximately YR 200,000 monthly for the orphanage, while philanthropists cover the remaining expenses. Nevertheless, it still suffers an income shortfall due to lack of regular and reliable funding.
The facility's needs are as great as those whose plights they oversee. However, it has formulated a strategic action plan covering its needs until 2010, when the administration will be able to develop funding plans and allocate its resources efficiently. “The orphans need help from every member of society to improve their position,” Al-Hajeri points out.
Life at the orphanage
Dar Al-Rahma is a substitute home for the orphans. Girls live in a family atmosphere wherein each group of 18 girls lives in a department with a 'mother,' who is responsible for her daughters and their needs.
One such mother, Noura'a Al-Sabeahi, has lived at Dar Al-Rahma for three years following her divorce and she knows everything related to the girls in her department. “I am a substitute mother for the girls. I train them to do their duties at the orphanage diligently. We have a system and all of us follow it. I also adopted 3-year-old Rahma, who is sick,” Al-Sabeahi explains.
The ages of the girls allocated to each department differ greatly. The eldest is considered the elder sister for all of the girls and her requests are followed. She must teach her sisters, as well as divide the department's duties among every girl in it. The girls prepare their food themselves and clean their department. They may visit or meet the next department's family at prayer time, when they return from school or sometimes in the rehabilitation center where they work and socialize together.
Orphans may live at Dar Al-Rahma until they reach age 18, when they have the right to decide whether to stay at the orphanage or go to a relative's home, should one exist. Some girls even marry while living at the facility.
In such cases, the fiance first must ask the administration for the girl's hand in marriage, after which the administration begins inquiring into the background and suitability of the fiance and his family. The administration then informs the girl's relatives of their findings, with both accepting the marriage proposal only after the girl has accepted his offer.
“Six girls have married and all followed the same system. The main condition we request from the fiance is to let the girl complete her studies, either in school or university,” Al-Sabeahi stresses.
“Other girls over age 18 have finished their studies and now work at the orphanage. We train them in administrative work until they acquire sufficient experience in administrative fields,” Al-Hajeri adds.
Orphans with psychological problems
Dar Al-Rahma occasionally receives orphans with social and psychological problems, every one with a tragic story to tell. In the beginning, it's difficult to talk with them because they are afraid of what will become of them. It's also difficult for them to talk about their past. Many have forgotten their pasts, while some girls refuse to narrate their stories, either because they don't want to remember or they prefer their stories to remain secret.
Social worker Malak Al-Najar recounted many stories of girls who came to the orphanage after suffering greatly in life. Ten-year-old Afrah worked as a servant in the house of the village sheikh after her father's death. She remembers those days in the sheikh's house with dread, especially because she fears that the sheikh may attempt to take her back into his possession.
“Many times, I try to comfort her, telling her it's impossible for her to be taken back there once she has entered the orphanage and that it wouldn't be easy for him to take her,” Al-Najar says.
Likewise, Fatima's situation was very bad when she arrived at Dar Al-Rahma with her three brothers. She spent a long time trying to forget what happened to her. “She ran away with her brothers to live in the mountains after her parents were killed in front of her. She was forced to flee because others burned down her house as a consequence of tribal revenge. She kept her brothers alive on rainwater for three days without eating anything herself,” Al-Najar narrated.
Fatima and the many other girls who suffered similarly horrendous experiences are provided special care and attention at the orphanage.
The rehabilitation center and library
The facility's rehabilitation center and library are essential parts of its activities, which include a program prepared for the girls during the holidays. The girls also spend time in computer classes at the computer center.
Khaluad Al-Saldan, who is in charge of the library as well as the facility's Qur'anic studies teacher, says that during the holidays, girls spend most of the day doing many activities and learning new skills according to a specific education and recreation program. “The girls at the orphanage even produce a variety of handcrafts, but unfortunately, they lack a marketing outlet through which to sell their products,” Al-Saldan notes.
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