To marry educated or uneducated women – Part 5 [Archives:2008/1181/Community]

August 14 2008

bY: Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy
In my last article, I show how an educated man faces problems when he marries uneducated woman. The consequences are also similar when uneducated man gets married to educated woman. But when both of them are similar in their educational status, I think, marriage life would be more suitable.

In this article, I am going to spotlight how a kind of harmony occurs between a husband and wife who have a similar level of educational. This idea is not only my own viewpoint, but many real-life experiences indicate that this is suitable. To prove the point, the following stories show how this kind of harmony occurs in many social aspects.

Let me start with the case in which the husband and wife are educated. In spite of all other factors like love, financial status and family relations, education paves the way for understanding each other. That is to say, when the husband and wife are educated, their framework of thinking is similar. By framework of thinking, I mean many things in marriage life. This aspect actually facilitates life and the number of problems will be lessened because of it. Education usually accentuates the rights and duties of the other. Educated couples don't need to be taught or to create daily disputes about the rights and duties they carry. An educated woman, for example, knows that it is the right of the husband to search for better opportunities either in work or study. On the contrary, an uneducated woman sometimes rejects any idea like this, fighting with husband only to be satisfied with whatever he has since he has only to look after her and their children if they have any. This actually helps in building a kind of stability between the husband and wife who eventually enjoy marital life.

Educated couples know that men and women can build normal relations at work or study. Such relations are marked by respect, morality, help, and many other good values. Because of this, they are not too sensitive about the relations of one with others of the opposite sex. What I mean is that the man can accept the idea that his wife encounters men in her field of work if it requires so. He may take this well, not because he is not jealous about his wife or because he is careless about that, but it is because he trusts her and, of course, he is aware of her behavior and relations with others.

Similarly, the educated woman may not create any problems for her husband when he establishes good and moral relations with other women in the workplace. Because of education, she realizes the kind of relationships that her husband will have with women at work.

A friend's father works in a private company where there are many women – both married or unmarried – working with him. Believe it or not, from time to time he invites them for dinner with his family or to parties at his home. It is his wife who prepares for such invitations and it is also she who warmly receives them when they come. His wife also sometimes asks her husband to invite them, feeling that they are like sisters for her and her husband.

If we investigate more, it is noticeable that such things never happen when the husband is educated while the wife is not or vice versa.

Educated couples tend to think about the future in the same ways. One such issue is the way to raise their children. When the couple is educated, both of them do their best to give their children the best possible education. They also support their children's desires to continue their education to higher levels. But if one of them is not educated, he or she may suddenly ask the son or daughter to stop studying if he or she feels it is useless.

To illustrate the point, an uneducated husband and educated wife have a young son. The husband always encourages his son to work so that he can start earning money sooner. He never asks or encourages him to finish his secondary school studies. But the wife always moves heaven and earth if she feels that her son is hesitating to finish his studies. She always encourages his to study, providing him with all means and facilities. Though this may negatively affects the performance of the son, it also creates many issues and disputes between the husband and the wife.

There are many positive points for marriage of educated couples. I hope, dear readers, you also discuss the topic I am referring to in some other aspects and share with us some examples.

Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy is a contributing opinions writer form Taiz. He holds a Masters Degree from the English department at Taiz University and is the former editor of Taiz University's English-language magazine.