What about duties, dear Noha? [Archives:2007/1087/Community]

September 20 2007

By: Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy
[email protected]

First of all, I want to thank the readers who responded to my article entitled “Gender-equality, is it a game dear women?” One of these responses was by Ms. Noha Mohammed Molhi, in the form of an article published in the last issue, and others were sent to my email. Though Noha, and some others rejected my ideas, there are some others, male and female, who recommended them. Here, I am not going to stand against those who rejected my ideas because I should accept any reactions “open-heartedly”, as Noha said. I want just to clarify some points that, I think, were misunderstood by some readers.

Some readers think I am calling on women to go with men if they meet in the streets or if a man offers a ride to any woman. Actually, I do not mean this at all. What I meant is that since men have to accept the concept of gender-equality, they must follow it in words and in deeds. They should not make any difference or distinction when they deal with women since equality is required in everything.

Following this, if a man meets a woman, whom he knows, he must behave as if he meets a man, i.e. he says hi, asking many personal questions, and offering services. In the case of meeting a woman, he must do so also; otherwise he will be accused for being violating the equality of gender.

If that man has a car, and meets a friend in the street, it is a matter of politeness, and respect to offer him a ride instead of letting him walk. He will be highly appreciated for this. If he meets a woman, according to gender-equality, he must behave similarly in order not to be partial and harsh with females.

By doing these acts, the man will not think badly of the woman. Furthermore, he does so in the streets in front of people just like when they working or studying together. Doing this, moreover, does not mean that he is going to take her home or anywhere else for immoral intentions.

Then, it thus depends on the morals of men and women. That is to say, if the woman is of good morals, the man will never think of her badly even if he has bad intentions. This is what has been proved in many real situations.

The men may neglect them in such situations. I am afraid, however, that the women again shake earth for violating the principle of gender-equality that they fight for, claiming that men pay more attention to men without women.

Noha reminds me of an important point that “how to make sure that men will not think badly of women” when women feel that it is normal to go out with them. She is right, and women have the right to be conscious. But if we apply this in all the fields in which men and women are together, so it is fair to ask Noha how you make sure that men do not think badly of women when they work , study, and do many other things together?

All of us see men and women work together in offices, schools, universities, and elsewhere. Here, I am not advocating men, describing them as polite and moral in their treatment with women. In fact, it all depends on the kind of relationship established between them. If the relation is of good morals, and respect, neither the men nor the women will be rude to the other.

What attracts me more is the title of Noha's article “Dear Maged, equality of rights, not of nature”. She gives more details in the article, explaining that rights like the right of “equal-education”, “working”, “choosing husbands”, etc. It is really good to have equality in rights, while in duties there must be no equality, according to Ms. Noha!! If this is really what women mean by gender equality, so it is better to change the term from “Gender-equality” to “Rights-gender-equality”. Is this equality, dear women?

Furthermore, Noha claims that the nature of men and women are different since women are sensitive and full of emotions. I admit this as a fact. This is something genetic, and unchangeable, as Noha said. I just wonder, and ask Noha “do the duties change the sensitive and emotional nature of women, while the rights (like working, studying, etc) do not?!”

I think, the points are clearer now, dear readers. And I hope Ms. Noha will think of the matter again so that she can give something “logical” and “convincing” as she said in her article. I, moreover, ask her, and all other readers to forgive me if am harsh in my words, requesting all of you to reconsider the topic not through my “blind eye”, as Noha said, but through your mind's eye.

Majed Thabet Al-kholidy is a writer from Taiz, currently doing his M.A. at English Dep, Taiz Uni. He is an ex-editor of English Journal of the University.