Which is the nightmare? [Archives:2007/1013/Community]

January 4 2007

Salwa Yehia Aleryani
[email protected]

It was one week since the begining of this month. On that day I recieved my salary. Years ago I used to be quite satisfied and happy on days like that. Now it seems those were feelings we will no longer experience.

Events, reality and time passed coloring our lives with their dark inky feather. Salary days now make me feel like the end or middle of month with no real difference. I don't even remember when I last felt happy or pleased.

Life and time force you to feel depressed. In all times the money is not enough. In all times I haven't paid all my debts, but gain some more. In all times I aim but never get to reach. Responsibilities pile up on my head and no action is taking place. Now my salary is YR35,000 and I am much better than many other people who have families and earn only YR15,000 or 20,000. I am very thankful to Allah. Yet, I just can't make it anymore.

I live in an old, small flat for YR15,000 per month. I pay only 10,000 and delay all the 5,000 until another, definitely not coming, day. This happened after I became a friend of the owner of the building also my wife became a friend of his wife. She sometimes gives my wife flour, eggs, sugar, and butter and asks her to make cake when she has some friends coming to visit her. My wife makes wonderful cake. Certainly she makes one for us, her family, too from the same amount the lady brings.

Today I borrowed my neighbor's car, he is a taxi driver. I do that once every month, usually in the beginning of it. I give him YR1000 for it and he stays home with his family enjoying a weekend! I take the car all day to go and pay all my bills and the house rent and buy what we need for the month which lasts us only enough for two weeks.

So I took that noisy car and drove it sighing and exhausted. Now after I paid my neighbor 1000YR I only have YR24,000. I still must pay the bills for the electricity, water and phone. I pay around 10,000YR for the whole. The rest of the amount of money in the bills I'll leave for another definitely not coming day.

Now I'll have about YR14,000 left from my salary until the end of the month. Also food is not all we need. My baby son has suffered fever and diarrhoea for a week now and he must be taken to a physician. The doctor will give us a prescription. The medicines should be bought and given to the child in order to recover. I imagine this entire event, transportation, doctor and medicines will take YR2,000. Also my daughters, the three of them, need new shoes.

Their old ones are cut and torn. This will cost around YR1,500. My eldest son is starting to be real fussy about being 14 years old now and not taking any pocket money. His demand is to give him daily YR70. He is a responsible young man and he deserves to take a daily pocket money but the problem is that this will be around YR2,000 monthly.

Also the rest of his brothers and sisters made a demonstration the other day and asked for the same money or at least YR30. My wife's scarf was torn and she found one that she loved but it was too expensive about YR700. I told her that I'll buy it for her another, definitely not coming, day.

I requested her to go out wearing the torn one. Yet if she does feel shy to go out with it then she should just stay at home until another, definitely not coming, day. My daughters wanted to go to Sabeen Park. I thought about it. I nearly allowed them to go. It is a free park and they'll have fun. Then I remembered that they must take something to eat and drink with them, also some money for the electrical games. So I told them no again.

I told them to just forget about any parks because I can't send them to see people eating, drinking and playing football while they are only watching. They sighed and kept silent. Their mum then got involved with our discussion as usual when the kids sigh and some cry silently to tell them that maybe they'll grow up and marry a rich man who will take them in a tour around the world in another inshallah coming day.

The prices are raising and increasing simultaneously with our decreasing low spirits. I mean we people are no magicians. We are no longer living in the age of miracles. I suddenly noticed that I have driven to a further place far from the owner's house. It seems I was absent minded or, to be honest, I am continuously absent minded.

I turned to go back when I saw sitting beside me in the car President Ali Abdullah Saleh! I stopped the car in the middle of the street to rub my eyes. I looked around. No cars, no guards, nothing. It was him and I alone in the street. He laughed. My tongue was frozen. I couldn't speak but he smiled. I couldn't recognize exactly whether it was a dream or reality. I then decided it was reality because lately I noticed we don't dream anymore. We are busy struggling with life and dreams need peace and safety. I grabbed and collected my escaping concentration.

I told him, “Mr. President. Please allow me to cry.”” He moved his hand to refuse and asked innocently