Yemeni youths search for freedom via online chatting [Archives:2006/916/Culture]
Mohammed Al-Jabri
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Sitting at his computer and smiling widely, snowyem23 (a chat room nickname) chatted online with another user pretending to be female. The two spent hours messaging one another in utter freedom.
The spread of internet cafes in Yemeni cities and the existence of chat websites have attracted many youths, both educated and uneducated, especially as Arabic chat sites have begun to proliferate. Young people turn to such websites because they can do there what they cannot do in real life and freely expose their feelings and desires.
In fact, Yemeni society is conservative, whereby tradition and habit reject love relations and immoral behavior. For example, a man and woman who love each other encounter difficulties or get into embarrassing situations when they meet or try to meet. A woman is not allowed to imitate western societies and choose her boyfriend or make friendships with the opposite sex. Television, movies and videos also have influenced most youths who, as a result, are beginning to change their attitudes in ways similar to western societies. All these factors, along with some others, lead Yemeni youths to online chatting, one way to escape the traditions and habits of their society.
In chat rooms, people use nicknames not necessarily typical of real males or females. Hence, a male may use a female nickname and vice versa. Female users undoubtedly prefer nicknames typical of their natures. This is why it is difficult to distinguish between male and female users. Chatters feel secure and no longer worry about who will identify them.
Men search for women in these chat rooms, as do women for men, and the kind of relationship sought in most cases is flirtation. Therefore, when a man comes across another man, he immediately ignores or rejects him. But if he happens to find a female user, he wastes no time in pursuing, coaxing and trying to chat with her for a long time. This is true of females, who easily are attracted if flirted with or pursued.
Chat topics youths choose are romantic and to some extent social. A female user may consider it a chance to look for an “imaginary” partner and waste her time seducing others. A male user also may look for a member of the fairer sex with whom he can enjoy flirting.
Nevertheless, frankly speaking, relations between male and female users may develop into what is called “cyber sex.” A.R., a 20-year old female, says she can engage in different relations in chat rooms and no one can discover her identity or what she does.
Youths sense pleasure as they indulge in such relations because through them, they can satisfy their desires. Social science expert Dr. Khalid Ahmed said television, romantic movies, videos and magazines influence today's youths, who try to imitate what they see and hear. He pointed out that this is evident in their behavior: some are inclined to behave savagely, some romantically and others childishly. “A good way to expose their hidden feelings and desires is by communicating with others through online chatting,” he explained.
Nowadays most internet cafes have begun providing clients with web cameras (webcams) to further facilitate communication with one another. As for Yemeni females, there is no fear of being identified on-camera, because most are veiled. They can attract males easily as they communicate this way – and easily cheat them.
A friend confessed that he had been in online contact with a veiled female pretending to be gorgeous. He said she became an obsession as he tried his best to see her face and was not given the chance to meet her face-to-face.
Undoubtedly, as two people chat online using webcams, it becomes like a face-to-face conversation. Moreover, as chatters appear on webcams, others can identify them, easily distinguishing between males and females, and the possibility of telling lies decreases accordingly. Those using webcams try their best to be cautious, but the majority of youths use them only to communicate with relatives or true friends. A positive aspect of webcams is that sometimes Yemeni youths come across those from western societies, especially if they know English well.
In America, Europe and some Asian countries, some users act badly, while others appear nude while chatting online. Some Yemeni youths confessed they sometimes chat with such sexually-oriented users. Unfortunately, male and female users (especially those with the internet at home) like to indulge in such relations. Additionally, most internet cafes have begun establishing private sections for females, encouraging more females to explicitly chat with and watch obscene acts on their webcams.
Other youths, most probably teenaged males, find freedom to use taboo words and indulge in slang. I once happened to sit beside a 16-year old boy who was busy messaging in a chat room. I was stunned as he rudely exchanged taboo words with another user. Internet cafe owner Nasser Ali said most teens like to enter chat rooms, especially Arabic sites, just to use a few abusive words while chatting with others. They feel secure in doing so, knowing they will not be punished.
Looking at European and American society, online relations between men and women often result in dating and sometimes end in love and marriage. Will the same happen in Yemeni society, where most online relations are not taken seriously?
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