The cost of education [Archives:2008/1123/Community]

By: Ghaleb Hassan Al-Ahlasi
[email protected]
[email protected]
When she was 12, Salwa promised herself that she would complete her education and attend college, so day after day, she worked as hard as she could, studying day and night. She had planned her path and everything to be done in order to achieve it.

After doing all of that, her dream came true and she graduated from high school with very good grades. Her mother and sister did everything, encouraging her to enter college, but nothing works out entirely. Her fiance, who was working outside the country and had a very good and high-paying job, decided he couldn't wait anymore and he wanted to get married.

“Well, ok, let's get married, but you must let me finish my education,” she stipulated.

“What do you mean?” he replied smiling.

“Does it really require an explanation?”

“Well, I don't think so.”

“Good, so we agree.”

“No, we don't,” he said politely, “I didn't wait three years for you just to wait another four.”

“Who said you would have to wait? I just said

“I know what you said. You see, I have a job, a house and a great future, but what I need is a wife to share my life with, to make my house like heaven when I come home tired, to give me children and take care of them. What I want is a housewife, not a certificate. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” her brother said, entering the room, “but I don't think her studying will hinder your wishes.”

“And education isn't just a certificate,” she protested, “It's part of raising your children well and making your house a heaven.”

He gave her a bright smile and said, “First of all, it's not just my children or my house – it's ours, if we agree. Your education will require four or five years, so that means it'll be six years before I have my first child. Also, instead of coming home to relax and have a good time after a long, hard day of work, I must come to

“What are you trying to say?” she interrupted.

“Nothing, I just want you to choose between either marrying me, living in my house and being a housewife and mother or completing your education. You have three days. I hope you'll think about it and choose wisely,” and without a word, he stood and left, leaving her between two hells.

She hadn't thought of anything like this and never even imagined such a thing could happen. Now what should she do? On one hand, she had a very nice guy with whom she would have a great and happy life. He was rich, well-mannered, well-educated and handsome.

On the other, she had her dream, for which she had been studying and working hard for 18 years. Here was her past and her future.

Unable to choose, she sought help from her mother, who said simply, “Look baby, you're old enough now and you know what will benefit you. Think wisely, consider the matter from all sides and then do what you feel is right.” Her older sister had nothing to add.

“Sister,” her brother said when she inquired of him, “you see, I know it's your dream – actually it's all our dream – that you finish college. I'm not telling you to stop and get married, I'm just telling you to look at both choices and think about them. Opportunity comes only once in a lifetime; if we don't take it, we'll lose it forever,” and with that, he left for work.

For the first time in her life, Salwa missed her father and actually envied those girls whose fathers didn't even give them a choice, but just gave their final decision on the matter.

The three days flew by and she didn't have a decision. “Marry or education, marry or education She spent two hours pacing back and forth until her fiance arrived and asked for her decision. Without thinking, she told him she chose to complete her education. Her decision shocked everyone. Then, the man who had been her fiance sadly and very quietly left. Ten days later, he was married and had traveled to his home with his new wife.

Salwa went on to study at college for five years until she graduated, but unfortunately, her grades weren't good enough to become a lecturer at the college. Although her brother didn't mind if she restudied her last year, she knew she couldn't do any better. At age 24, she knew she must be independent.

Seven months of searching for a job ended with nothing. Wherever she went, she found 60 to 80 applicants, all with better grades and experience than her and some with an intermediary. With nowhere else to apply, she was totally desperate.

Her former fiance's words and face came to her mind again and again as she realized what a colossal mistake she had made.

Two months later, a friend offered her a teaching job at her school, explaining, “We really need teachers. All you have to do is work as a volunteer for a year and then you'll be an official teacher, so what do you say?”

With nothing much she could say, Salwa took the job, working as hard as she could for an entire year to earn that opportunity. However, when the time came, she was overlooked and her position given to the school manager's relative.

Another year of Salwa's youth was gone.

Ten days later, she found a job in a small clothing factory that required hard work. She worked 13 hours a day for a salary that wasn't that good. In the beginning, she thought she'd be an accountant or something similar, working in an office and not doing much, which is why she accepted the job, but she was really disappointed.

She couldn't stand it any more than four months. “I didn't study all of that to have this type of job,” she explained to her family, “I can't do all this hard work for nothing,” so she quit.

Finally, she yielded to her brother and her mother's opinion and returned to college to retake her final year. She really did her best, but once again, it wasn't enough. Another long, hard year of work had come to nothing, as her grades weren't much better.

Five months later, her brother came home with some good news. “A friend of mine has been promoted to bank manager. I told him about you and he said he could find you a job at the bank.”

The next day, she went with him to see his friend, who seemed nice, and got a job at the bank counter. It was a nice, easy part-time job with a good salary and all it required was being nice and polite to others. However, not more than a year later, she was fired. During that year, she had worked in every department of the bank.

“I know she's educated and has certificates,” the manager explained to her brother, “but that doesn't mean she's above others. She's no better than anyone else to look down on them. You must understand my position. I really did all I could, but it didn't work. She couldn't get along with her coworkers and customers, which is what our job requires.”

Now 30 years old, Salwa was really disappointed. She had lost everything – her youth, her beauty, her nice fiance, her health, her education and her future. Who would marry a 30-year-old woman without any special merits? With no job, no money and no beauty, she had become nothing.

“What was my error?” she asked her brother, to which he replied, “Your fault was that you didn't understand your culture and society. You thought you could do everything because of your certificate.

You didn't understand that your society hasn't yet admitted that women are effective associates of men and possess rights just as they do.”
——
[archive-e:1123-v:15-y:2008-d:2008-01-24-p:community]