Educated women can’t get married! [Archives:2006/909/Reportage]
By:Hakim Almasmari
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Over the years, Yemen's educational sector has seen a great increase in both males and females and demand is even higher. Genders finally have realized education's importance and are sacrificing time and wealth seeking light at the end of their educational journey. Unfortunately, those women wanting to continue studying at university could risk getting married, almost guaranteeing themselves a life far from the love, care and experience of marriage. According to Sana'a University sources, 75 percent of female students studying there are single. These numbers reveal the big picture of a future crisis.
In a growing phenomenon, educated women seem to have the hardest time finding a groom. In a country like Yemen, tradition puts the average age of marriage for women at around 19, which clashes with women's goals and hopes of wanting to achieve through education. “You're put in a difficult spot, trying to choose what could be best for you,” said Laila Mohammed, a 19-year-old first-year university student. “It's either studying or getting married,” she added.
Most women complete university at age 23, which is when most Yemeni marriage seekers stop knocking on the door. Ironically, men seem to dislike educated women. In their view, women of this high educational caliber could cause problems for less educated men. “I can't even imagine myself marrying a woman holding a university degree. If things don't go right for her in the future, she will definitely blame me and not the country or government for her downfall,” said 21-year-old Moused Saleh.
In many situations, women start university studies after high school and continue until the right person asks for their hand in marriage. They are put in a position of choosing between two important life-changing opportunities. However, most parents prefer marriage in this situation, before it's too late. “If men would accept us continuing our studies after marriage, this issue would never be brought up. This is for their interest as well,” said Samara Saleh Al-Mathrahi, a 22-year-old married woman. “We are half of society and we deserve a chance to change the situation of our country for the better,” she added.
More than 55 percent of university enrollees in Yemen are female. This reveals the large number of female students who will have difficulty marrying. Many women don't give marriage the importance it deserves until years later when all their friends are happily married while they are unfortunately left behind. “It's not easy living with the thought that one might never get married. I hope situations will change so that women who desire to complete their studies can, at the same time, have a good chance of getting married,” said a 28-year-old single woman with a master's degree in medicine. “In Egypt, women get married at the average age of 30. Why can't we accept this issue as they did?” she added.
Due to what they see in local universities, men are uncomfortable with their wives continuing educational studies after marriage. In some situations, women fall in love with any man offering them sweet words. According to a number of married men, most women in universities are too open with men; therefore, men lose trust in them even before thinking of marriage. “I studied at the university for four years. I don't understand some of the things women do in universities,” said Ali Al-Kholani. “If only their families knew what they were up to in universities,” he added.
Another man complained that married women who continue studying in universities slack off in their other responsibilities and give less attention to more important issues like family. “I gave my wife an opportunity to study after I married her. In return, she used it as an excuse for not doing her housework on a regular basis,” said a husband who preferred to remain anonymous. “At home, she is always on the phone with her friends from school. Am I not her husband?” he added.
Solving such a crisis could be extraordinarily difficult. People still degrade educated women, some because of education in general and others for the gender mixing in the educational process. In a changing society like Yemen, citizens must find ways to solve this crisis before it grows. Ten years ago, striving for education was a priority and crucial to tackling illiteracy. Now a greater problem has erupted in society. Our country needs women doctors, teachers, nurses and in many other fields. At the same time, the cost of this should not be as enormous as it is, costing women their married life. Can this problem be resolved in a society like Yemen? Only time will tell.
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