In either case, she’s the victim [Archives:2007/1039/Community]

April 5 2007

Abdullah Al-Nahdi
[email protected]

Some girls wonder why they don't have the right to marry who they love, but let me first ask why they love someone without being sure they'll marry him?

Nowadays, love has become a real social problem affecting marital life. Let's compare between love in the past and nowadays. In the past, girls avoided this problem by staying at home, far from even thinking about love or anything like that. They also couldn't communicate with men for two reasons: first, they obeyed our religious norms and second, they didn't have the communication means we have now.

A girl simply awaited her fortune, trusting that her parents wouldn't marry her to an unreliable man. Thus, when a girl married the one chosen by her parents, she took him as her first and last love and we see how happy their lives were.

However, this doesn't mean girls in the past didn't love – they just loved differently. A girl might have been attracted to her cousin or any one of her relatives, but it was just kept to herself to see if it would come to anything. Love wasn't the dangerous emotion we see nowadays.

Nowadays, many girls have the opportunity to go out for numerous reasons: study, work, etc. Most have mobiles, email and other modern telecommunication tools; thus, when one wants to form a relationship, she finds it easy because she has many choices from which to begin.

For example, we often hear of a girl meeting a guy at college. First, she talks to him and then gives him her mobile number. At first, she thinks she'll just have fun, but she doesn't know how heartbreaking the end can be. They meet and talk for many days, weeks or even months, during which time love is built in her heart, brick by brick. Helplessly, she falls in love and there's no way to escape. She now wants him to marry her.

Two possible situations are now possible: First, if the guy really loves her and wants to marry her, there's another thing that might prevent him – her parents (or society). Her parents already might have chosen another one for her and if so, they'll force her to marry the one they've accepted. When this happens, she'll marry him as just a soulless body and it then becomes a societal problem leading to divorce and a wretched life.

On the other hand, if she discovers in the end that the guy she's going out with was just playing, she'll suffer a broken heart. In either case, she's the victim.