Negligent husbands, captive wives [Archives:2007/1070/Reportage]

Bassam Ahmad Al-Saqqaf
For Yemen Times
Many Arab women find themselves in a state of captivity as they remain in unfulfilling marriages. Informal studies indicate an increase in the percentage of families where the wife is subjected to physical, emotional, and material negligence from the husband. In such cases, the women desire divorce, yet face obstacles, some self-imposed, others societal, to escaping their situation.

On the most part, the fate of these women is placed in the hands of two parties – their husbands and judges – both of whom have proven inconsiderate of the rights of the women whose well-being they have been entrusted with.

Divorce by chance

F.N. is a woman who recently was granted a divorce after enduring a10 year court-case. “The courts made me lose my life and youth. I could not enjoy my freedom and my right to become a wife and a mother another time. Although, I got the divorce by chance and out of the court door. That happened through [my ex-husband's] other wife after a lot of troubles and delaying for 10 years with different reasons. I knew just by chance his marriage with another woman. I seized the opportunity of my presence with her [at a party] to tell her my problem of getting a divorce. The surprise is that she left the party to her house and after just two days I received the divorce papers, of course without the court,” she explained.

She also talked about the difficulties faced in her long journey to liberation. One of her biggest struggles was financially. She confirmed that her ex-husband did not take financial responsibility of her and her two sons throughout the entire 10-year-period that she sought a divorce. She was forced to incur debts from her father and sisters, eventually resorting to begging in order to care for her two little sons.

Revenge on husband and society

M.M., another woman whose case is pending in the courts going on 5 years, shared, “I made a request to the court to separate between me and my husband. It was a very short marriage, not more than a month. I faced all kinds of violence psychologically and physically. Then I ran away and asked for a divorce from him. He refused to divorce me, so I resorted to the court. I do not have any money. My father took my money to marry another woman. Because of a lot of procedures for divorce, I tried to commit suicide more than once. However, I failed. What I did in the end is make many relationships (friendships) with strange men just to take revenge on my husband, father and the whole society.”

Fostering hatred

Umm Ali, 42 years old, stated, “I spent with my husband more than 20 years. I gave birth to seven sons. The eldest is 19. The reward from my husband in the end is betrayal with another woman. I tolerated everything from him, insulting and beating. However, to find him with another woman is something difficult that I cannot tolerate.” She continued, “I left my house, staying in my father's house. My father is also separated from my mother and married another woman who has six children. I was forced to work, helping my father who is very old. At the same time, I sought a divorce from my husband. I clarified all the reasons that forced me to do that. Then I added these last words: 'I hate him.' More than 6 years have passed but I didn't get what I want yet unfortunately.”

Judicial collusion

Recent studies have been launched to indicate the reasons behind the injustice faced by such women seeking divorce from abusive and negligent husbands.

One study confirmed that many Arab women face difficulties during their quest for a divorce, particularly from the courts. The reasoning for this, the study mentioned, is adherence to an old social system whereby a woman's right to divorce is null and void.

Further studies indicate that the courts' refusal to grant women divorces in such cases leads these women to indulge in promiscuous relationships with non-related men. It also forces many women to resort to begging and working jobs unsuitable for women in order that they may support themselves and any children they may have.

The most dangerous result is prostitution, followed by drug addiction and stealing. The study also revealed that Arab women are not well versed in legal procedures for divorce, nor are they aware of their rights. One study suggested implementing a 6-month maximum time limit for divorce proceedings.
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