To marry now, or later: is it a problem? [Archives:2008/1143/Community]
By Maged Thabet
Marriage is socially and religiously demanded for one's stability in all respects. Some circumstances, however, oblige some men to postpone marriage from time to time, trying to overcome any bad circumstances for their marriage lives. They are satisfied with such an ideology. But, others do not leave such men to manage their personal affairs as they want. They take it as a matter of fun, keeping on blaming them for their unmarried status regardless of any conditions they are in. Such blame, in my opinion, must not influence those who delay marriage because no one will pay for any consequences except the person himself, while those who only blame disappear at the end.
I think most men want to get married. But, when they are sure that marriage brings about some undesired consequences, it is better to be delayed so that such persons get a chance to ensure better marriage lives.
Some men, for instance, insist on having separate homes to live in after marriage. They want to have their independent lives away from any family problems may occur when they live at the parents' homes.
Actually, living at parents' homes after marriage is not a shame. But if a man expects that, his life would be disturbed when living with other family members in one home. Here, he has the right to have patience to prepare for a home. Many cases show how problems with family members occur immediately after one's marriage. Such cases are taken as lessons for others who want to keep good relations with family members after marriage. As a result, many people postpone marriage with an aim to establish their own homes.
Some men do not like to live in rented homes. They keep the idea of owning their homes. As a result, they delay marriage, doing best to build or buy homes. Really, it is a good idea to do this because this will be difficult to be done after marriage especially with persons of limited incomes.
Some men postpone marriage because they have certain aims and ambitions they want to achieve. One such ambition is study. If a man has an aim to study to a particular level, and he thinks that marriage will be an obstacle in this process, it is better to be postponed.
When study becomes one's ambition, he must be encouraged to continue rather than to be blamed so that he may get discouraged. Marriage sometimes turns the mind towards home responsibilities and family obligations. Marriage, I think, can be done sooner or later. But if he stops studying and gets married, he may not get another chance to study. In such a case, marriage- if the person is influenced by others' blames- destroys his ambition and obliges him to do any work in search of money so that he can afford his family's needs and demands.
But, delaying marriage and finishing study will offer better chances for this man and then, of course, to his family. So, such a man must not be blamed but rather encouraged and supported by all means.
Some people postpone marriage because they want first to ensure their future with a good job and home, car, etc. They think that they cannot achieve such things after marriage because of home responsibilities and family obligations. They decide to prepare such things so that their marriage status would be more comfortable and stable. If they believe such blame and get married, they soon realize that they have committed a big mistake in their lives.
In short, I am not against marriage and I am not for it either. What I want to say here is that life has priorities. Everyone should be careful of these priorities. When there is a priority to do something else, it is better to postpone marriage. Others must not blame such men who also must not be influenced by such blame, and what everyone should remember is that since there is any priority, “to marry now or later, it would not be a problem.”
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