Violence against men s it real? [Archives:2005/853/Reportage]

June 23 2005

Eshraq AL-Bodigi
[email protected]
For Yemen Times

Frequently, we hear about the violence against women and the bad acts of men against them, with numerous victims who complain of the physical and psychological violence which they are suffering.

In addition to that, often we find ourselves sympathizing with their case, and find that the number of the organizations; which stand up for women and their affairs, are increasing day after day.

However, it's not to be hidden that the majority of the men's violence which is practiced on the woman wherever she is and wherever she goes, but the thing that raises the real argument and amazement is, did the men think for a day if there were any kind of violence which has actually been practiced upon them? Moreover, do women believe that they are practicing violence upon the men?

Studies that focused on violence against men are so few compared with those studies which done to evaluate the wide circle of violence against women, however, the thing which is recognized is that violence is generally practiced against various humanity categories, and that is absolutely enough to draw attention that there is a kind of violence against men too.

The definition of the word (violence) from the historical side of the word itself is that motivating the force or intending it towards another person or some thing else. This definition is based on the Latin word (vis) which means the power, and it is the past of word (fero) which means motivate.

Dealing with the physical violence, which was represented in the strike, killing, and tormenting, the criminal cases were proving in many courts of the world that there is actual physical violence that was beig practiced against men as well as being practiced against women. That violence presents in killing their husbands, tormenting or striking them, but that is not all, violence can be extended to the other males whom are around or far off.

Whereas, some studies revealed that men who are suffering the physical or material violence usually don't want to express that violence. Those studies saying that men are scared to lose their prestige or dignity in front of others, except in some cases like those, which reached the areas of courts as we mentioned above.

Some times that physical violence changes into sexual violence that women carry out against men in a number of Western countries as mentioned in numerous reports, it means that not only women are forced to do that kind of violence but both males and females may suffer the same kind of violence.

Whereas most of the studies that care about male affairs and violence against them, focused on the violence of women towards men, and perfectly parallel to some studies which defend and support women, concentrating upon the violence of males towards females. In the side of psychological violence, suppose we indicate another kind of violence, which is coming as a result of carrying the responsibility of the family especially in the Arab societies and particularly those societies, which have less women's employment.

Men in these communities are subjected to rather heavy pressure that is in consequent of his feeling by deadly responsibility towards his wife and children, ensuring their needs of life. However, single men may be subjected to carry the responsibilities of his sisters, mother, and retired father who could be jobless; which could be another burden which he has to carry on his shoulders.

In comparison with Western societies, this kind of violence is quite limited of minority due to the rate of women's employment in those communities, women in Western societies considers herself completely responsible of her family.

What's more is the job's pressure that men have to comply with it, and that is one of possible sources that present violence against men, as well as women if they were in their jobs, faced with the same pressure.

Going back to the history of women violence towards men, women violence is a result of these reasons: self-defense, early social life for women through her childhood and youth who are usually subjected to any kind of male violence and grows spitefully against the male, using her particular violence as psychological needs to do that, and taking drugs or drinking alcohol that causes a kind of unconscious violence.

If we concentrate on the first reason that pushes women to practice violence which is self-defense, we notice that, men are relatively the first and last cause of that violence which comes from females towards males.

If we are correct about this issue, the results will show: women's violence against men is caused mostly by men, so to get ride of women's violence, men should stop their violence against women!

In context of all this powerful violence, which will destroy both men and women, in the course of those pronunciational and legal battles which every side charges the other one that he is the despotic, we find that violence forms a psychological and physical dangerous against both gender as equal.

To be neutral, we absolutely believe the existence of the violence which we feel everyday on the level of the Western and Arabic societies, moreover, we totally agree with finishing all kinds of violence against humanity. In addition to that, to be able to build communities without violence, we should to participate to stop this violence, which demolishes us day after day.