Islam and respect of parents [Archives:2005/893/Opinion]
DR. MANEA AL-HAZMI
Islam has great respect to parents during their lifetime and thereafter through giving them exceptional rights, Allah ordains believers in Qura'n to be kind to their parents. [And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (so much as) “uff” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up (when I was) small.] (Qura'n 17:23-24). Allah decreed good treatment towards parents during their lifetime, warned us against any dreadful treatment to them, and ordered us to make supplications for them during their life and after their death. Allah ordained us to be more kind to our parents during their old age because at this age they are weaker and they are in need of especial treatment.
Almighty Allah regarded kindness to parents just beneath worshipping Him due to its importance but he puts more emphasis on mothers in Qura'n. [And we have enjoined upon man (care) for his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in tow years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the (final) destination] (Qura'n 31:14). A man asked the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him: [who amongst his near ones had the greatest right over him. The Prophet replied: “your mother”. He asked, “Then who is next? The Prophet replied: “your mother”. He again asked, “Then who is next? The Prophet replied: “your mother”. He asked, “Then who is next? The Prophet replied: “your father”] (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim). Kindness to the mother is the way to Paradise. Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said [Paradise is at the feet of mothers] (Narrated by Al-Nisai, Ibn Majah and Ahmad). The mother has three times more rights upon her kids than that of the father for different reasons. First, she carries her baby in her womb for nine months, delivers him, and nurses him for tow years. She has to pass these phases with critical suffering at the expense of her health and beauty. Second, she is weaker than the father.
Kindness to parents is the most loved deed by Allah after the prayer. This means that Allah gives a great reward for those who respect their parents. Abdullah bin Mas'ud (a companion of the Prophet) asked the Prophet [which of the deeds is best loved by Allah? The Prophet answered “The prayer at the proper time.” I asked, “What is next?” The Prophet replied “Kindness to the parents” .]. (Narrated by Al-Bukari and Muslim). Parents are the gates of Paradise and mothers are keys of its gates. The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said [A parent is the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it] (Narrated by At-Termedhi and Ibn Majah). Therefore, when you please your parents you please Allah and get the biggest reward (Paradise) in the hereafter.
The loser is the person who finds his parents or one of them at old age and does not enter Paradise: The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said [May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced, who finds his parents, one or both, approaching old age and does not enter Paradise] (Narrated by Muslim). Respect to parents not only a way to Paradise in the hereafter but also a way to success in this life. The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said [He who desires that he be granted more provision and his life be prolonged, should join ties with his blood relatives] (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
Allah has prohibited any word of contempt or bad treatment toward parents: [Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (so much as) “uff” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word] (Qura'n 17:23-24). In fact impiety or disobedience to a parent is one of the major sins that lead to Hell. The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said [Among the major sins are: Association of anybody with Allah (polytheism), disobedience to parents, killing a person, and taking a false oath (perjury)] (Narrated by Bukari). Also he said, [Allah forbids all of you to disobey your mothers] (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim). Therefore, the respect of parents is the second best deed after worshipping Allah and mistreatment of parents is the second major sin after polytheism.
Respect towards parents continues even after their death. A man asked the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him [Is there any thing, I can now do in benevolence towards my parents after their death? The Prophet peace be upon him answered: “Yes, by praying for them and soliciting (Allah's) mercy and forgiveness towards them, fulfilling their promises and undertakings, doing kindness to those who may be related to you through them, and respecting their friends.] (Narated by Abu Daoud). Sons and daughters can perform good deeds such as supplication, pilgrimage, and charity for their parents after their death. Also the rights of parents upon their sons continue after the son's death. Parents get a share from the inheritance of their sons depending on whether their sons have children or not. The share is higher when their sons have no children as Qura'n states [And for one's parents, to each one of them is a sixth of his estate if he left children, but if had no children and the parents (alone) inherit from him, then for his mother is one third] (Qura'n 4:11).
The warm relations between Muslim parents and their sons and daughters are with deep respect and always amaze Westerners. People in the world celebrate the Mother Day once a year while Muslims consider all days of the year as parent's days. Praise be to Allah the Most Merciful and with His Mercy we respect our Parents.
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